I love working on our sweet nursery, but, if I’m honest, there are days when it feels like I’m just decorating a random room—one that won’t actually be used. I have a vision of how I’d love the space to look when complete, but strangely, that vision doesn’t always include a real human occupant. I’ve shared before that this road to adoption, which is going on 3.5 years for us, can feel highly theoretical at times…okay, a lot of the time. We have to remind ourselves that there will be an end to our waiting, and that end will include a precious baby whom God has chosen for us.
So, to keep the idea of our baby real, I’ll sometimes wander the baby aisles at Target. I don’t actually spend much time in the baby gear and clothing sections though. I guess it’s because we have a lot of that at home, and that stuff doesn’t necessarily equate a real baby in my mind. Rather, I’ll peruse the aisles full of diapers, creams and ointments, and formula. For some reason, these bring me back to the eventual day-to-day reality that is coming—days full of diaper changes, baths and baby lotion, and late-night feedings.
The other day I found myself in Target by myself (yes, every woman’s dream), and I found myself wandering toward the baby section. My heart was feeling particularly heavy that morning with waiting and uncertainty. So, I began to pray as I wound my way through the aisles. “Lord, would you protect our sweet baby? Would you give his or her birth mom Your peace? Would you calm my anxious heart and help me trust You in this time?” Slowly, the ache in my heart began to fade, replaced by His peace. I looked up and realized I had stopped in the bath aisle. I also realized that we don’t actually have anything to bathe our little one with when he or she arrives. “There’s no reason I can’t pick something up now,” I thought. So I did. As I placed the items in my cart, items we will one day, hopefully not too long from now, use for our little one, our sweet baby felt more real than he or she has in a very long time.
The great thing was, as Zach was helping me put away what I had bought, he didn’t even bat an eye at my baby purchase. Instead he said, “Oh, cool! These will be helpful when our kiddo comes.” I love that man. So, we’re continuing our wait, only now more equipped to bathe our sweet baby when he or she arrives. We would appreciate your prayers for our little one, his or her birth mom, and for us as we wait for those nighttime baths to be our new reality. Thanks for your support on this road of ours.