They Said It Would Be a Roller Coaster

This summer, I took a class with a session titled The Power of the Personal Narrative. The speaker asked us to discuss the most emotionally difficult event that we’ve experienced in our lives.  I buried my head in my computer because the pain was a little too raw.  Then, a music teacher who was sitting two tables over began to speak.  She said “5 years ago, we were selected to adopt a baby on July 11th.  We had a shower, we had a name, we were ready for her.  On July 13th, we received a call explaining that the birth mom had changed her mind.  We weren’t going to be parents.”  She paused and went on to say, “3 months later I received a call during a staff meeting that a little boy was about to be born and we were selected to be the parents.  We went straight to the hospital and I was the first one to hold him.  Today, he is 5 years old and will begin Kindergarten at my school next year.”  One of my colleagues rubbed my back, another touched my arm, and a third sent me a text that said “hugs friend.”

We haven’t updated the blog in awhile.   It’s been a rocky spring.   A friend from high school saw our video and connected us with a birth mom who was due June 10th.  She had a woman who was going to adopt her baby, but that fell through.  She was in need of a new family.  Within the week, she told us that we were the parents of her baby.  She agreed to let us come to her next doctor appointment.  The appointment was on June 3rd.   This was really happening!

 My mom came and we shopped and shopped.  Clothes, formula, bassinet, bottles, swaddle blankets, anything that we needed for the first few months.  We picked out a name that seemed just right.  I arranged a substitute teacher at work just in case she did give birth on June 10th and school didn’t get out until June 14th.  We talked about our summer.  Would we bring her to Uncle Tony’s on July 1st for the fireworks?  What about her little ears and the loud noise?  Maybe we would go for a few hours during the day then leave before the fireworks.  We allowed ourselves to get really excited.  We hoped to see our baby on the ultrasound during that appointment on June 3rd.

On June 2nd, I received a text while I was teaching my kiddos.  It was our birth mom.   It read “Hi sorry so far she (the woman who was going to adopt this baby initially) wants to continue the adoption.  I’m sorry.  But I have to take into consideration this was originally planned for her.”  I wrote back “We understand, thank you.”  We were crushed.

Through the next few weeks, we tried to process things.  We were angry, sad, hurt.  I was more angry and negative that I think I’ve ever been in my life.  Being around kids immediately became painful.  Tears came to our eyes the minute heard a little girl in a store yell “Daddy.” We were embarrassed that we let ourselves get so excited for something we knew could fall through.  We truly believe that adoption is for children who need good homes, not for our own selfish want to be parents.  But, it still hurt.  Oh my goodness did it hurt. So. Bad. 

After that music teacher told her story I approached her and thanked her.  I told her our story.  She began crying and hugged me.  She “got it.”  She SO “got it.”  She told me that she didn’t want to tell her story but she volunteered because her colleagues told her it might help someone in the room.  It did.  I, of course, ran home and told Troy.  We know now, that this is only part of our journey.  That little girl wasn’t meant to be a part of our family, but we pray that she is in the perfect family for her.  God has a plan, we trust it, and we are ready to continue our journey with Him!  We also reeeeaaallllly hope that it includes a kiddo for us to love!

Little People Big Impact

I spend most of my days with the most wonderful people you'll ever meet.  They are inspirational, determined, hilarious, and perfect models of unconditional love.  They also happen to be 7 and 8 years old.  There isn't a job in the world that I could love more that being a 2nd grade teacher.

I've been a teacher for 7 years.  Every year, students have asked "why don't you have kids?"  My answer has always been "hopefully soon" and my kiddos have accepted that and moved on.  For them, it only makes sense that a teacher would have kids.  This year, its been a little different. 

Since my class found out about our video, and saw the newspaper article in the Lansing State Journal, they have been asking a lot of questions.  Mostly, they want to know if we are going to adopt a boy or a girl and if they will get to meet our baby.  My answer is always "either one" and "of course!"  Last week I was in the middle of teaching a literacy lesson and one of my kiddos raised his hands and whispered "Mrs. Hagon!"   I called on him and he asked "did you get the call yet?"  My heart melted.  They care.  They care so much. And they think adoption is so cool.  I love that.  I overheard one of my students explaining that he came out of a belly but some kids come out of adoption and he thinks that's so cool.  Again, melted.  

So, last week, after Art class, one of my kiddos approached me with a piece of paper.  He explained that he'd had some free time and wanted to help.  This is what he gave me:

Melted.

Love for Adoption Behind the Scenes Part 1: Who Will be More Emotional?

Who are We? I’m Johnnie, Adrienne’s brother and Jackie is my girlfriend. We live with our yorkie Ramone just outside of Detroit. We met while working together at an ad agency and fell in love. We’ve never met a reality TV show we didn’t at least sort of like and family means more than anything to us. We’re both hoping that someone seeing all of the love put into this search will choose us and help us grow our family tree!

We’ll also be your guides behind the scenes of “Can’t Stop Believin’.” We’ll be sharing candid and intimate moments of our family and friends on the day we shot the Justin Timberlake “Can’t Stop the Feelin’” parody.

Our baby, Ramone!

Our baby, Ramone!

It was so important to Jackie and me that we take advantage of the inspiration created by the Can’t Stop Believin’ video shoot to capture candid moments of our family. These are the people that will be helping to love and nurture the newest member of our clan and it was important for us to introduce the world to them in a way that really showed that even though we don’t know who this child is yet or how he or she will join our family we all definitely know that we love them.

This inspired us to turn the camera around to give everyone a look into the personalities of the people they see dancing in the video. Troy and Adrienne’s family, both blood and borrowed, are made up of an eclectic group of people that come from every walk of life but share one critical feature. A deep love for one another. That love brought all of us to tiny Williamston, Michigan in the freezing cold to be a part of something that would change all of our lives. We didn’t know if it would be a day, or a month, or a year, or ever, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say that with the amount of love we all put into it we all felt like there was no way that baby Hagon wouldn’t be coming home soon.

Today we’re sharing the first in a series of videos that highlight family and friends answering a single question. These intimate moments really show how much love we already have for the soon to be newest member of our family.

The first question is: Who do you think will be more emotional when the call comes?

Emotions are a funny thing. Some people wear them on their sleeve and others can be more stoic. Another funny thing is that a child can turn one into the other reducing someone normally reserved to tears and stunning a more extroverted person into silence. We wanted to find out who our family thought would be more emotional when the call came through and the answers definitely surprised us.

You’ll have to watch the video to see if you agree with everyone’s answers, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion of your own. Who do you think will be more emotional when the call comes?

Stay tuned; we’ll have another video with another question for the family soon. If you have questions for us or that you want to see us ask the family, email us at loveforadoption@gmail and we’ll ask it at our next family gathering.

Guest Blog: Yvonne Patterson

Making this video was a labor of love. The infertility and adoption journey can be a painful and hopeless experience for “wanna be” parents. Being Adrienne’s mom puts me close to this, as well. The worst thing for a parent is to watch your child suffer and not be able to help. It was satisfying to do something this meaningful and be joined, without hesitation, by family and friends that love this couple and feel their desire so strongly. I tear up when I think about the power of the love that was shown that day. Coming together for this one single cause, a baby, was a bonding experience unlike any other. The entire day was magical, bitter cold and kind of crazy but still magical. It’s heartwarming to watch as people join the bandwagon with their love and support.

To Adrienne and Troy I would like to say, I know it was not an easy decision to make this website and video but I believe I can speak for everyone and say, thank you for including us. Can’t stop this feeling! We believe.

Having said that, let me address the fact that this will be my first grandchild and I am excited! My kids and I have some traditions that were established when they were infants, too young to remember. One being going to Erie Orchards in the fall to pick our pumpkin right from the pumpkin patch and gather apples among other treats. After going to the orchard we would stop at an exotic animal “zoo”. I use the term loosely because it was in someone’s backyard. At their request, we continue to do this each year but it has been a long time since I have taken a little one on this adventure. I so look forward to bringing my grandchild with us to carry on the tradition! One among many!

With Love beyond compare,

Mom (Adrienne’s Mom)

Guest blog: Patti Hagon

Me and my granddaughter Kendall.

Me and my granddaughter Kendall.

Over the last few weeks since Troy and Adrienne floated the idea of a video and blog to help fulfill their desire to add to their family I have been thinking of what I would say to birth parents if I had the opportunity concerning their choice of parents for this precious little one.  That word that played over and over in my mind was “stability.”

Troy and Adrienne have stability in their relationship.  It is evident that their love for one another is strong and deep.  I see it in their interactions.  They have a deep devotion to one another and take care of the needs of the other without hesitation.

They have a strong support system which includes family consisting of parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins.  They are surrounded by friends, many from childhood who are very important to them.  Troy and Adrienne are surrounded by so many people who love them and would love to be a part of a child’s life.

Stability in their careers is an important aspect of Troy and Adrienne welcoming a baby into their lives. Both have been in their jobs for extended periods and the fact that Adrienne has chosen to give her time to a career including children shows the love she has for them.

A stable home is so important in raising a child.  Troy and Adrienne have a lovely home equipped with the perfect nursery to welcome a child.  A birth parent can be assured that their home is an environment full of love and laughter.

Troy and Adrienne would give a child every opportunity available and all the love that a child deserves with a support system of family and friends who are ready and waiting to welcome a little one with open arms!

Patti Hagon, 

Troy’s Mom and hopeful Grandma

 

We all need somebody to lean on...

You know those stories you hear about people who are struggling with something and then their friends and family rally around them to do something amazing?  The type of stories that make you tear up?  Well, that happened to US!  The journey to become parents has been a roller coaster.  We’ve been hopeful, doubtful, excited, disappointed, encouraged, the list goes on.  And on and on and on.  We’ve tried to remain positive, knowing that we are meant to be parents and that our baby is out there.  But sometimes, you can only get by with a little help from your friends.  This was one of those times.  In a big way!  

Around Christmas, the roller coaster had taken a dive.  I was talking with my girlfriends (Tera and Nikki), feeling discouraged and telling them that Troy and I were considering signing up for some new adoption websites to help us find a birth mom looking for an adoptive couple for her baby.  They mentioned, insisted, that we could do something more fun, more meaningful and more “us.”  And so the video idea was born.

In the beginning we were going to re-write a few lyrics, film a video of us singing while dancing with our friend’s kids using our iPhones.  Then, we mentioned the video to more friends and family.  That’s when it took off!   Casey jumped on board to produce the video.  Then, Adam and Nick offered to film and edit for us.  Molly spent 2 days at our house painting the nursery.  Johnnie (Adrienne’s brother) and Jackie went to work creating a website and a social media strategy. Before we knew it, Nikki was taking our photos in the recording studio.  We were seriously feeling the love!

We filmed the video on February 4th.  We had over 50 friends and family at our house to help! Our mom’s cooked for the crowd with lots of people brought extra treats.  Our neighbors brought over a pot of hot chocolate and warm brownies.  It was a fabulous, cold frigid day, and the support we felt that day still makes me tear up.  There are good people in the world.  Lots of them.  And we get to have so many of them in our lives.

Molly painting the nursery (Otis is supervising)

Molly painting the nursery (Otis is supervising)

Nikki at the Troubador Recording Studio

Nikki at the Troubador Recording Studio

Troy and Casey warming up for the video

Troy and Casey warming up for the video

Who We Are and How We Got Here

Hi!  We are Troy and Adrienne.  We live in Michigan with our little dog, Otis, and love to enjoy all that life has to offer!  On any given weekend, you might find us kayaking, camping, snowshoeing, hanging out with friends and family, running  walking in a 5k race or cheering on our favorite sports teams.  We like to travel too, especially to try the local dishes!  On Sundays we go to church and always try to keep our faith at the center of our lives.  Although we love to be on the go, we can't wait until we replace these events with t-ball or ballet class!  Troy works for the State of Michigan and Adrienne teaches 2nd grade.  

In 2008, when we got married, we discussed having biological children first, then looking into adoption.  Adoption was always something that we hoped to have in our lives, but we did not anticipate the 6 years of unsuccessful fertility treatments that followed.  This was a very difficult time for us, but it brought us closer and allowed us to discuss what was truly important to us.  It is important to us to provide a nurturing, loving and stable environment for a child, and to share in their successes, failures and everything in between.  We will show them that the best things that God has given us in life are family and friends.  Our hearts are bursting with love for a baby that we haven't met, and we cherish the possibility of becoming a Mom & Dad!